All my life, all I've ever wanted was to fit in. To belong. Sometimes I'm somewhat successful. Other times, I make a fool of myself. I wasn't always true to myself, and more importantly, to God. I joined a sorority in college to fit in, in spite of reservations that I had. I told myself certain things were okay just so I could have a group of friends. Except that always backfires.
This week, I've been struggling with feeling like I don't fit in. Along with wanting to fit in comes the self-pity. I'm not good enough for that group. I'm not thin enough. I'm not quiet enough. I'm not feminine enough. I'm not rich enough. I'm not "Christian" enough.
How sad is that ... that I allow myself to be put through the wringer based on lies.
God's been working on me this week. I am me. I am His creation. I'm not meant to be someone else. The only way the cycle will stop is if I take my eyes off of the world and focus on Him. While it will be painful at times, my job here is to let Him chisel me into an image of His Son. I belong - I belong to the most important group ever. I am His!
So Lord, that is my prayer. I ask for help in keeping my focus on You. I ask that You will continue Your work in me and allow me to be a shining light for You. I ask for perseverance, that You will sustain me when it's too hard for me on my own...and more than that, that it will never be me on my own.